When God gives you a dream and asks you to surrender it to Him, the only option is obedience. Because without complete obedience and surrender, He can’t bring that dream to fulfillment the way He has planned.
It didn’t make a lot of sense. I knew that God had called me to communicate His Words through writing. God was asking me to give up this blog. Even though, I haven’t been consistently writing, this was hard for me to take. I questioned it for a brief few hours because the dream of writing had most definitely been from Him in the first place. But I also knew that often times our plans for how our God-given dreams will turn out are much different than His plans. So I let the though settle in my heart and remained open to the idea. The next morning, I read 1 Peter 5. Verses 6-7 say “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs; he’ll promote you at the right time.”(emphasis mine) I felt this was confirmation that what I had heard the day before was really from the Lord. I knew that obedience was the only option, and so I told my husband and my writing friends so they could hold me accountable. But I needed to work through all of this in my heart before I could publish this final post.
I quickly came to the realization that surrendering my dream does not mean giving up my dream. It means laying it down at God’s feet and saying “You gave me this dream, and I trust that your plans for its fulfillment are better than my own plans.” I know that God has called me to write. Last year when I attended a Christian conference for writers and speakers, God reminded me that this was His dream for me; it wasn’t something I came up with on my own. I believe He even gave me part of the title for my first book at that conference. That was a year ago.
Soon after the Lord spoke to me about closing down this blog, I began reading A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman, about how the art we were made to live comes out in so many small ways. There was a chapter in the book dedicated to when you need to stop. Coincidence? I think not.
Emily says, “It seems counterintuitive to stop just when you’ve convinced yourself you are already so very far behind. But stopping is really the only answer, because to carry on is to become a manic workaholic. To carry on is to worship the art rather than the Artist with a capital A. To carry on is to be pushed around by fear.”
This stood out to me because I had already felt behind as a writer. I wasn’t writing consistently and my blog community wasn’t growing. There was a fear that if I closed down this blog I would never have a reason to write again.
Very soon after I decided to be obedient in shutting down my blog, I got an email from someone in a Christian writer’s community I am part of (Hope*Writers), asking me what book I plan on writing in July. I replied with my answer, still unsure if it was really the Lord prompting me to focus my time on writing a book right now. Then several days later, a friend texted me and asked how my book was coming. Well, that was enough confirmation for me. And so I have set out to focus on working on the book God laid on my heart two years ago.
There is so much I could say about what this blog has done for me, but I’ll just share the most important thing. When I first came up with the title, it had more to do with me sharing my heart, because doing it through writing seems to be easier for me. But over the last almost 3 years, God has used it to reveal His heart to me and the things in my own heart that I didn’t know were there. I realize that this particular blog has served its purpose. Now that I am writing this final post, I feel so much peace about what lies ahead for my writing “career.”
I don’t know what God has planned for me in the future, but I know He does have a plan, and I can trust that it is better than anything I could come up with on my own.
As of September 1st, this blog will no longer be running. I thought about leaving it up indefinitely and just not writing on it, but I knew if I did it would always be a temptation.
You will still be able to find me at my Facebook page, where I will hopefully be more consistent in sharing little snippets of what the Lord is teaching me.
Thank you to those who have read my humble words on this blog over the years. I hope you have been blessed by them in some way.
“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.” Numbers 6:24-26(NLT)
From my heart to yours,